posted by ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
puszysty at 05:03pm on 31/03/2005
puszysty at 05:03pm on 31/03/2005I am so glad its Thursday, I'm ready for the week to be over.
This thing I'm posting here is part of a story/dialouge I wrote today. I'm posting only this section because it's the only section about me. Just an fyi- all this is true, except that I am not lonely, just in a predicament.
The lecturer spoke about something, something of importance. Here I am sitting, thinking not of something, but of someone. I am torn. I like him, but he has no idea. Does he like me? I have no idea. I don’t know who he likes. He is a secret diary, I cannot read him. Someimes I imagine us together. Sometimes I see him with someone else. Each situation is just as plausible as the next. I wish I knew if I had a chance. It would all be ok if I knew. Only, I am too afraid to know. I am not afraid of the answer; I am afraid of the question. How the question is perceived depends on the answer, which can only be revealed by the question. To have him take the question in a way I do not want it to be taken, estranging myself, would be even harder for me to bear. I can never know. I cannot escape my lonliness.
I don't know why I've been so deep lately. Spring break must have done something to me.
This thing I'm posting here is part of a story/dialouge I wrote today. I'm posting only this section because it's the only section about me. Just an fyi- all this is true, except that I am not lonely, just in a predicament.
The lecturer spoke about something, something of importance. Here I am sitting, thinking not of something, but of someone. I am torn. I like him, but he has no idea. Does he like me? I have no idea. I don’t know who he likes. He is a secret diary, I cannot read him. Someimes I imagine us together. Sometimes I see him with someone else. Each situation is just as plausible as the next. I wish I knew if I had a chance. It would all be ok if I knew. Only, I am too afraid to know. I am not afraid of the answer; I am afraid of the question. How the question is perceived depends on the answer, which can only be revealed by the question. To have him take the question in a way I do not want it to be taken, estranging myself, would be even harder for me to bear. I can never know. I cannot escape my lonliness.
I don't know why I've been so deep lately. Spring break must have done something to me.
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