puszysty

Wow, Steph. That's some heavy, serious shit weighing on your shoulders, isn't it? You're one of those people who just rarely complains, so when you do...it catches me off guard for a second. That aside, I can say that I wholeheartedly empathize with your feelings and current position self-doubt. At twenty I'm pretty sure I saw my life as a hopeless cycle of being fat, ugly, undesirable, used and useless. I was frustrated because I knew how much potential I had, how great my life COULD be....but I didn't think I'd ever make it...no one would want me. I was wrong.

What compels me to respond to this is that I have always viewed you as one of the most true, most mature, most intelligent people I know. Sometimes I'll bring you up in casual conversation when I'm talking to Ally about an lj post or your trip to Europe, and it always ends up being about how you have such a good head on your shoulders, and you're one of the few 20 yr. olds I know who I would genuinly enjoy spending time with. Your independence and self reliance is an amazing attribute. Honestly, I don't know but a few people like you, and I admire it a great deal.
But back to the job thing, I don't know why prospective employers would suggest you aren't qualified, unless they simply are looking for someone with more prior office experience, in which case you might drive home your skill with computers and communication skills...experience with international communication. Plus, you do speak a second language, yes? I do want to ask you how assertive you are...do you sell yourself? Sometimes, annoying as it is, it's the one who has rehearses and memorizes their way to a perky, perfected self-glorifying dialogue that has the best chance.

If there's anyone in this world who I see making an important impact, taking on an impressive role, it's you..and I freaking mean it when I say it. Is it wierd that I see you working for the CIA or FBI or something? I just think you'd kick ass in those jobs. Muster up the confidence..even if you have to fake it, and prepare to be very forward in the current job market.