posted by ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
puszysty at 05:29pm on 12/12/2007
puszysty at 05:29pm on 12/12/2007I have just finished the very last paper of my undergraduate career!! Woohoo!
In celebration, I bring you the full list of What I Have Learned In College!
Men are only good for sex
Religion is confusing
Rich white people are evil
The answer lies with the Mexicans
It may be better for me to become a lesbian
Slurpees are the best thing ever becaue they are cheap, yet satisfying
Alchemy is an addicting game
Some college myths do not apply
I can get from Grand Valley to Buchanan on less than half a tank of gas
Dykstra needs to have a pool table
I will never be able to escape Clint
Thinking about thinking is boring. Thinking about economics is boring.
Everything is about racism
Cheesy movies are entertaining
Sleeping on the top bunk is a pain in the butt
Boys do in fact dance. *gasp*
Pace yourself
Christmas is expensive. And I love to buy people gifts maybe too much
You can get sick thinking about food
There are a million ways to procrastinate
Driving in snow is scary as hell
Best Buy Holland sucks
It takes 60 seconds to go to the 103rd floor of the Sears Tower
The international rules to billiards
Hauling stuff across campus is a pain
I have more stuff than I thought I did
Getting an A in a class really does pay off
Don’t forget to bring dusting materials
When you are not looking, giant moose will invade your room
Citing major local news in essays makes you look smart
Using things out of context is perfectly acceptance in research papers
Pizza Hut really is in fact good pizza
Spring break plans are best made early
Finding an advisor is far more difficult than it should be
Preservierungsmittel does NOT mean food preservatives
It can be done. Twice.
The most social life on campus involves the dining hall
Even something as innocent as Care Bears can be taken the wrong way
You can write a serious academic paper with curse words in it
Don’t judge a class by its title
Banquets, not matter how long or boring, are always worth attending
Thinking about thinking is still boring.
Keep it real yo
Water balloon fights after 11 pm are perfectly acceptable
No matter how sarcastic you think you are, there is always someone who is moreso.
It is impossible to give up men for lent.
Wear sunscreen.
It’s harder to prevent from talking to yourself than to other people.
Be sure to always check your saline solution at the door.
Orientation activities are way more fun when you’re an upperclassman.
The Kletz- good for curly fries, bad if you’re recovering from food poisoning
It’s never too cold to go to the beach
When in doubt, the answer to every question is yes.
Calling someone a Marxist is a good insult.
Love stinks
Wandering can be called a hobby
Nandi the bull!
Thinking about economics is not necessary
Studying is more fun with two people. But there is no studying allowed after 2 am.
Blame the government
Watching Desperate Housewives makes you a heathen, but it's ok if you watch Extreme Home Makeover beforehand
Elbows and shoulders and head head pose
Lying on the floor can be tough
You too can be a buddha
Boys- can’t live with them, can’t live without them
Do not, I repeat do not, upload your favorite cd to your computer because you will become addicted and wonder why you ever uploaded it in the first place
Laundry costs way more than it should
The entire story of Parzifal- backwards, forwards, upside down, sideways....
Finding a roommate can be very difficult
Brazil is in South Africa
I am capable of eating a meal with chopsticks
Who needs sitcoms when one has the incident report
It can’t be done three times. Sorry.
Watch out for screen doors. They hurt
Socialism is characterized by oogly buildings
Pre-gaming is not a sports term
Hals- und Beinbrechen!
Cobblestones are evil
How to get around in a foreign country alone
Anyone who thinks Italian is the most romantic language has never been to Italy
You know your language skills have improved when you can be sick and/or freak out in two languages at once.
Two people do not need to speak the same language for one to give directions to the other
Napkins fly better in wads than in airplane form
Anything can be a phallic symbol if you really want it to be
MMC: too sexy for tv!
God ≠ Batman
I take that back. Siedler is the most addicting game there is.
You are a fire hazard.
No swearing in chess
Bananas go bad faster in the fridge
Qibla cookies: they always point towards Mecca!
PS. It is ok if you do not understand what these mean. You're not supposed to, unless you're supposed to. If that made sense.
In celebration, I bring you the full list of What I Have Learned In College!
Men are only good for sex
Religion is confusing
Rich white people are evil
The answer lies with the Mexicans
It may be better for me to become a lesbian
Slurpees are the best thing ever becaue they are cheap, yet satisfying
Alchemy is an addicting game
Some college myths do not apply
I can get from Grand Valley to Buchanan on less than half a tank of gas
Dykstra needs to have a pool table
I will never be able to escape Clint
Thinking about thinking is boring. Thinking about economics is boring.
Everything is about racism
Cheesy movies are entertaining
Sleeping on the top bunk is a pain in the butt
Boys do in fact dance. *gasp*
Pace yourself
Christmas is expensive. And I love to buy people gifts maybe too much
You can get sick thinking about food
There are a million ways to procrastinate
Driving in snow is scary as hell
Best Buy Holland sucks
It takes 60 seconds to go to the 103rd floor of the Sears Tower
The international rules to billiards
Hauling stuff across campus is a pain
I have more stuff than I thought I did
Getting an A in a class really does pay off
Don’t forget to bring dusting materials
When you are not looking, giant moose will invade your room
Citing major local news in essays makes you look smart
Using things out of context is perfectly acceptance in research papers
Pizza Hut really is in fact good pizza
Spring break plans are best made early
Finding an advisor is far more difficult than it should be
Preservierungsmittel does NOT mean food preservatives
It can be done. Twice.
The most social life on campus involves the dining hall
Even something as innocent as Care Bears can be taken the wrong way
You can write a serious academic paper with curse words in it
Don’t judge a class by its title
Banquets, not matter how long or boring, are always worth attending
Thinking about thinking is still boring.
Keep it real yo
Water balloon fights after 11 pm are perfectly acceptable
No matter how sarcastic you think you are, there is always someone who is moreso.
It is impossible to give up men for lent.
Wear sunscreen.
It’s harder to prevent from talking to yourself than to other people.
Be sure to always check your saline solution at the door.
Orientation activities are way more fun when you’re an upperclassman.
The Kletz- good for curly fries, bad if you’re recovering from food poisoning
It’s never too cold to go to the beach
When in doubt, the answer to every question is yes.
Calling someone a Marxist is a good insult.
Love stinks
Wandering can be called a hobby
Nandi the bull!
Thinking about economics is not necessary
Studying is more fun with two people. But there is no studying allowed after 2 am.
Blame the government
Watching Desperate Housewives makes you a heathen, but it's ok if you watch Extreme Home Makeover beforehand
Elbows and shoulders and head head pose
Lying on the floor can be tough
You too can be a buddha
Boys- can’t live with them, can’t live without them
Do not, I repeat do not, upload your favorite cd to your computer because you will become addicted and wonder why you ever uploaded it in the first place
Laundry costs way more than it should
The entire story of Parzifal- backwards, forwards, upside down, sideways....
Finding a roommate can be very difficult
Brazil is in South Africa
I am capable of eating a meal with chopsticks
Who needs sitcoms when one has the incident report
It can’t be done three times. Sorry.
Watch out for screen doors. They hurt
Socialism is characterized by oogly buildings
Pre-gaming is not a sports term
Hals- und Beinbrechen!
Cobblestones are evil
How to get around in a foreign country alone
Anyone who thinks Italian is the most romantic language has never been to Italy
You know your language skills have improved when you can be sick and/or freak out in two languages at once.
Two people do not need to speak the same language for one to give directions to the other
Napkins fly better in wads than in airplane form
Anything can be a phallic symbol if you really want it to be
MMC: too sexy for tv!
God ≠ Batman
I take that back. Siedler is the most addicting game there is.
You are a fire hazard.
No swearing in chess
Bananas go bad faster in the fridge
Qibla cookies: they always point towards Mecca!
PS. It is ok if you do not understand what these mean. You're not supposed to, unless you're supposed to. If that made sense.
excited
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Men are only good for sex
Rich white people are evil
It may be better for me to become a lesbian
Who needs sitcoms when one has the incident report
Pre-gaming is not a sports term
Anything can be a phallic symbol if you really want it to be (especially with my mind)
"You can write a serious academic paper with curse words in it" Is this from experience? Because I sure hope so.
"Watching Desperate Housewives makes you a heathen, but it's ok if you watch Extreme Home Makeover beforehand" made me giggle a whole lot. I've never watched Desperate Housewives but I can see how Hope College could view it.
And yes. Bananas freak out when refrigerated. It's strange.
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