puszysty

I'm so far behind on my Japanese. Like over a week. But Hope is now on winter break, so that gives me extra catch-up time. It's hard getting myself to do it and retain it when I'm not actually in the class. Trying to teach yourself a language is hard, yo. I did an assignment (from last week, but let's ignore that) that was listening comprehension. Question 2 I barely understood anything that was being said. I suck so bad. Usually the answers are on the cd we were given last semester, but for some reason this page was missing. Arg! That pisses me off, I want to know what the heck they were saying.

Part of the reason I'm so far behind is because I am so unmotivated. To do anything really. I keep meaning to get in some physical activity (swimming if possible), but it just doesn't happen. I'm just so unhappy with my life right now that it's hard to get up the drive, you know?

I'm running out of ideas on where to look for jobs. I got in a whopping 1 app today. Part of it is that I just don't know about the smaller companies that are out there in far off regions of the country. But this is also me making excuses for my sorry ass self. I'm hoping something comes of that test I have in two weeks- it looks like I can ace it, and hopefully that gets my foot in the door at Immigration.

I know it's not supposed to be easy to find a job, but why can't I even get a single interview? What am I doing wrong? Is the fact that I was rejected for an internship last summer killing me? Do employers just see me as someone who only has the skills to hand out hamburgers? Is it my major? Is it my college? Do I live too far away?

I'd been wanting to get a part-time job, but I'm not sure that's doable at this point. I have an all day type test in 2 weeks, then am taking a week and going to St. Louis and Chicago, and don't intend to stick around the area much longer than that, so I'm not a very desirable hire at this point. And I absolutely refuse to go back to McDonald's. I'd applied at the local casino, which just recently opened, but I don't think they are very good at updating their employment website. Kind of makes me wonder how many jobs I've applied to that have actually been filled by the time I get there.

I'm sorry that I post so much, but I have no one to talk to, except my parents, but like, my mom tends to brush off my worries and my dad can't listen to me talk without going into some story about what he did when he was yadda yadda age. I feel like LJ is my social life, and that's kind of pathetic.

In case you haven't noticed, I'm about this close to a mental breakdown.