puszysty

You all remember that identity crisis thing I went through last year, right? I think I may have gained a little more insight into that.
I think part of what was missing was solidarity. What do I mean exactly? Well, you've heard people/ heard of people say 'I'm black and I'm proud.' or 'Proud to be a latina."....things like that. But like, I can't say 'I'm white and I'm proud of it' without the strong possibility of being termed a racist. Like- there's just no sense of community there, and if there was it would be a bad thing. Having a number of international friends and friends of different races, I see it in them a lot that there is a connection between them and those from the same ethnic background. And for them it's a good thing, a source of pride, a source of identity, a way of relating to people. And maybe I can wish for that, but I know that's its not something I'm ever going to have.

Images practice (specifically reflecting on one person's testimony as an Asian) today just kind of hit me with something. It's something I've been thinking about more this year than ever- what it means for me to be white. I've never thought much about it before; I've never had to think much about it before. And I don't know how that sounds to people (especially those of you who are in a different group), but really I'm just asking a question that I think everyone asks "What is my racial identity and what does that mean?" I don't have all the answers yet, I doubt I ever will. And, I've never had to think about before because it's not something that society demands whites to do- that much I've realized. But I realize that I do have a race and it does have connotations, I'm just still exploring what there is to that. And I'm sure it's going to take me years to figure it out.