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You all remember that identity crisis thing I went through last year, right? I think I may have gained a little more insight into that.
I think part of what was missing was solidarity. What do I mean exactly? Well, you've heard people/ heard of people say 'I'm black and I'm proud.' or 'Proud to be a latina."....things like that. But like, I can't say 'I'm white and I'm proud of it' without the strong possibility of being termed a racist. Like- there's just no sense of community there, and if there was it would be a bad thing. Having a number of international friends and friends of different races, I see it in them a lot that there is a connection between them and those from the same ethnic background. And for them it's a good thing, a source of pride, a source of identity, a way of relating to people. And maybe I can wish for that, but I know that's its not something I'm ever going to have.

Images practice (specifically reflecting on one person's testimony as an Asian) today just kind of hit me with something. It's something I've been thinking about more this year than ever- what it means for me to be white. I've never thought much about it before; I've never had to think much about it before. And I don't know how that sounds to people (especially those of you who are in a different group), but really I'm just asking a question that I think everyone asks "What is my racial identity and what does that mean?" I don't have all the answers yet, I doubt I ever will. And, I've never had to think about before because it's not something that society demands whites to do- that much I've realized. But I realize that I do have a race and it does have connotations, I'm just still exploring what there is to that. And I'm sure it's going to take me years to figure it out.

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I think everyone wrestles with their own identity and that that ties in with ethnic background, racial background, religious background and family background. It's okay that whites aren't unified in the same way and it makes sense that we are not because the last time that happened there was slavery. I think I'm currently undergoing some type of identity crisis myself because I'm realizing I don't think I'm catholic anymore and whether I want to admit it or not it is part of my ethnic and family history and I will be throwing that away by making the break that I ultimately have to make if I truly believe that some women are called in the church to serve God in ways other than chastity.

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wOOt, Identity Crises all the way around! It makes sense that hanging around with a lot of people that do form their identity in terms of race would make you want to do likewise, but it certainly isn't a label that you need to have for yourself. How we label and define ourselves is a very personal issue and there are many ways to do it. Race is one way that sticks out to a lot of minority groups because of how society makes an issue of it. Personally I view race as an extraneous way of defining oneself because it is at least partially based on skin color, which in and of itself really doesn't make people different. I think that culture is a wonderful and relevant way of defining one's self though. The problem with an individualistic culture like ours is that we tend to define ourselves in the ways that we are different from others rather than how we are like others. Ack, I'm just rambling, I guess my point is that you should define and label yourself in whatever way makes you feel relevant and gives you worth in the areas that are really important to you. Sorry if I went overboard on advice... I do that sometimes... ttfn!