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Why am I only 20 and feel like I will never be anything but a failure?
So far all I've been able to get are shitty jobs. I apply early, I apply late, but I'm still stuck with like 2 options. People I know are less capable than me (and a year younger) I have found out are working office jobs at the same company that basically told me I will never qualify for an internship there.
I think I do a good job at work and my bosses still get mad when I ask for a short break or try to work out a scheduling conflict. It's my f'ing fault anyway- I told McDonalds I was available til 4 and Hardings only that I was not available during mornings, and this Saturday I am scheduled there til 4 and at Hardings starting at 3.
I will never be popular enough, pretty enough, or complaint enough for anyone.
No one will ever want me, just like they never have.
The only thing I am any good at is plugging numbers into equations and coming out with the right answer. No one even knows what an 'international studies' major is. Only way anyone will ever hire me is have I have a specific law degree from some prestigious school, not some small private college that nobody's ever heard of.
So far all I've been able to get are shitty jobs. I apply early, I apply late, but I'm still stuck with like 2 options. People I know are less capable than me (and a year younger) I have found out are working office jobs at the same company that basically told me I will never qualify for an internship there.
I think I do a good job at work and my bosses still get mad when I ask for a short break or try to work out a scheduling conflict. It's my f'ing fault anyway- I told McDonalds I was available til 4 and Hardings only that I was not available during mornings, and this Saturday I am scheduled there til 4 and at Hardings starting at 3.
I will never be popular enough, pretty enough, or complaint enough for anyone.
No one will ever want me, just like they never have.
The only thing I am any good at is plugging numbers into equations and coming out with the right answer. No one even knows what an 'international studies' major is. Only way anyone will ever hire me is have I have a specific law degree from some prestigious school, not some small private college that nobody's ever heard of.
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What compels me to respond to this is that I have always viewed you as one of the most true, most mature, most intelligent people I know. Sometimes I'll bring you up in casual conversation when I'm talking to Ally about an lj post or your trip to Europe, and it always ends up being about how you have such a good head on your shoulders, and you're one of the few 20 yr. olds I know who I would genuinly enjoy spending time with. Your independence and self reliance is an amazing attribute. Honestly, I don't know but a few people like you, and I admire it a great deal.
But back to the job thing, I don't know why prospective employers would suggest you aren't qualified, unless they simply are looking for someone with more prior office experience, in which case you might drive home your skill with computers and communication skills...experience with international communication. Plus, you do speak a second language, yes? I do want to ask you how assertive you are...do you sell yourself? Sometimes, annoying as it is, it's the one who has rehearses and memorizes their way to a perky, perfected self-glorifying dialogue that has the best chance.
If there's anyone in this world who I see making an important impact, taking on an impressive role, it's you..and I freaking mean it when I say it. Is it wierd that I see you working for the CIA or FBI or something? I just think you'd kick ass in those jobs. Muster up the confidence..even if you have to fake it, and prepare to be very forward in the current job market.
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